I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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