So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
