I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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