We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're a waste of cheezeits
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
