so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
