I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
