I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
