Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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