belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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