i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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