Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
