how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
