Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you had me at cake vodka
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
