So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
