it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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