how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
