The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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