what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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