But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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