they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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