Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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