How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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