i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
