My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
