have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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