Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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