Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
