my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
