I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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