Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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