Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work

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(301): View more from Maryland

just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.

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(765): View more from Indiana

You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.

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