Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
