Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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