Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
