at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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