Pants 0. Shit 1.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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