Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
