I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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