Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
