how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
