playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
