i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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