thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
