it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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