going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
