i just wanna soil my oats bro
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
