I didn't shave. On purpose
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
my poor anus
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
