i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
