Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
