Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're like the curious george of whores
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
